Emotional Stages of Fibromyalgia Pain
What to Expect After the Diagnosis of Fibromyalgia
Aug 6, 2009
The emotional stages people with fibromyalgia go through are similar to those a person in grief experiences after the loss of a love one. For the person with fibromyalgia it's a feeling of a loss of self - as if they will never be the same person again. The chronic pain becomes a part of the new self. Typically, there are stages that a person goes through emotionally as they progress to a place where they can deal more effectively with the condition. These stages are important to understand and are perfectly normal for someone to experience.
Five Emotional Stages of Fibromyalgia
- Denial-Being a person with fibromyalgia is not a welcome thought so a person unconsciously wishes to deny that they have the disorder. This is the first emotional stage of having fibromyalgia. It makes logical sense that those with fibromyalgia would tend to deny. Fibromyalgia pain is not a pain that is acute. It is not going to go away in a short while by resting, taking a pain pill, or getting a massage. No one wants to think that they have to live with pain in their everyday life. It would be better if another fixable cause was found. At this stage the individual tries to find other answers for their pain by going to numerous doctors and trying a myriad of treatments methods.
- Anger-Once no other explanation has been found for the symptoms and it's clear to the person that fibromyalgia is what they have, anger can set in. "Why me?" The person may spend a lot of time thinking about how easy life seems to be for other people compared to themselves. This stage is filled with frustration, irritability, and maybe even anger outbursts.
- Depression-At this stage the individual finds they cannot get away from the fact that they have fibromyalgia. The pain is with them all the time and despite their efforts, they cannot make it go away. Feeling defeated, the person can get depressed. The stages of anger and depression usually are accompanied by increased pain because negativity and stress can amplify pain.
- Acceptance-Sooner or later the mind needs resolution and that would be to accept what is real. It is the healthiest thing to do. Even if professional help is needed in order to get to this stage, it's important to get to it in order to continue life in a fulfilling manner. Acceptance allows the person to stop resisting, stop stewing in their own juice, and get mobilized into action. Action is important for pain relief, for happiness, and for peace of mind.
- Taking Control-At this stage the individual with fibromyalgia is motivated to search for what works for them. They will continue to try different therapies or pain reducing methods but this time it's not in order to deny, but rather to get to the best place possible despite a chronic condition. This is where the person is motivated to find ways to live life to the fullest with fibromyalgia. Instead of being angry, the attitude is that fibromyalgia is not going to get in their way. There is the realization that fibromyalgia isn't a death sentence and that life can go on. The person has control and they finally realize it.
It's possible to get stuck at any of the initial emotional stages of fibromyalgia. It's at that time that it's helpful to seek outside help from a psychologist or counselor in order to move on to acceptance and taking control. Not only is fibromyalgia not terminal, but there are many people who have gone through the emotional stages successfully and have found it to result in personal growth.
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