Caring for the Terminally Ill
A Summary of What to Expect when Looking After a Dying Relative
Caring for someone with a terminal sickness can be emotionally and physically draining. It is not wrong to seek out help.
When a loved one falls ill, a family member often ends up being the primary care giver. Knowing what to expect can ease the passage of this difficult time.
Medical Issues
Make an effort to understand the progression and effects of the medical condition. This can be done by speaking to the medical staff concerned, reading relevant books and research on the internet. If long term nursing care is needed, learn the basics of how to administer pain meds, managing a drip, bed baths and prevention of bed sores. Be prepared in every way possible.
Access to Information
Type up the person’s details and keep a couple of copies close at hand. In a medical emergency, this information can literally be a life saver. Include things such as:
Full name
Date of birth
Health insurance number
Doctors' phone number
Emergency services phone number
Blood type
Medications and dosage
Accept Help
Friends and acquaintances are often willing to help in any way they can. Accept help and make up a list of numbers of those who have offered assistance and where they could help. Simple tasks such as fetching a child from school; or cooking a meal can prove to be invaluable. Others may be able to sit in an ER and offer strength and support. Professional support is available from special agencies such as the Cancer Society, social workers and hospice staff.
Dealing with Anger
It can be very difficult caring for a dying person, especially if the disease has affected the mind or muscle control. Inappropriate behavior and loss of control of body functions are common problems. The care giver may experience exhaustion, revulsion and anger, all of which will be followed by guilt. Seek out help instead of allowing things to worsen.
Take Time Out
It is essential to take a break, especially if working as primary care giver. Relief can come from family, friends, hospice workers or even a paid nurse. Us the free time to rest, sleep, exercise, watch a movie or indulge in a favorite craft. Don’t feel guilty but acknowledge that everyone needs time out.
Emotional Issues
In a perverse way, a slow death has the hidden blessing of allowing time for goodbyes and if needed, reconciliation and forgiveness. Be prepared for emotional times as friends and relatives visit and deep feelings are shared and tears flow.
Caring for a terminally ill loved one is often a roller coaster of fear, sorrow and grief interspersed with moments of hope and joy. Never forget that it is impossible for one person to do the caring on his own. Join hands with others and navigate through this difficult time together.
